Hiking has been important in my healing journey for so many reasons. It pushes me mentally and physically. It proves to me over and over that I am strong, and that I can do hard things. In the early stages of my healing journey it made me realize that if I can keep going in the mountains when I wanted to give up that I could summit the figurative mountains in my life that I thought I wasn't capable of summiting, particularly my traumas.
In this video, I talk about how important hiking was in my healing journey and the importance of chunking down your goals into manageable bite-sized pieces so you don't get overwhelmed.
If you want a full toolkit on how to use goal setting in your healing journey, I encourage you to read my book, Reclaim Your Life After Trauma: The Power of Goal Setting. Sign up here to begin reading the Introduction and Chapter 1 of the book for free: serotinouslife.com/reclaim-your-life-book
If you'd like to read the full book, you can find the eBook and...
Even though love can help us heal, it's so hard to trust again after experiencing trauma. Because many people I encountered when I was younger hurt me, or they died, I started to distance myself from people. Even though I love people and I love talking with them there was always a wall that I put up so people couldn’t get too close. But I was very lonely for most of the years of my life. I’m now 40 years old and it’s only been within the past few years that I’ve allowed myself to really get close to people. But I didn’t do it randomly.
I first started with people who wanted to be close to me, but I pushed them away. I was very open and honest with them and told them about my mission to improve the relationships with people who love me and to build trust in others. I told them I was scared of getting hurt and that being vulnerable is hard for me. Because they already loved me, and this is what they'd been hoping for all along, each of them was patient...
Rivers and waterfalls provide perfect examples of how change can be beautiful. Our trauma forever changes us. Yes, trauma can be devastating. But if you look hard enough, you can also see that it has changed your life in beautiful ways.
You may find it helpful to watch this video I recorded while reflecting on renewal during a recent trip to Letchworth State Park in New York:
We can never change the fact that our trauma occurred. The only thing we have control over is how we look at our trauma. If you'd like to break the cycle your trauma has you trapped in, I encourage you to read my book, Reclaim Your Life After Trauma: The Power of Goal Setting. It will give you the inspiration and tools you need to move yourself further away from the devastation your trauma left behind and into the life you desire and deserve.
Sign up here to begin reading the Introduction and Chapter 1 of the book for free: serotinouslife.com/reclaim-your-life-book
If you'd like to read the full book, you can...
In this video, I talk about how trauma can steal moments of joy from us unexpectedly. Like I recently experienced, you can be enjoying life in one moment and then something can trigger you and send you back into remembering your trauma. Or, it can cause you to be scared over all the ways that your current joy could be stolen from you.
Hopefully it will give you ideas for how to handle moments when you're triggered. If you need additional ideas for self-care practices to handle the moments when you're triggered, I encourage you to read or listen to my book, Transformation After Trauma: Embracing Post-traumatic Growth. Sign up here to begin reading the Introduction and Chapter 1 for free: serotinouslife.com/transformation-after-trauma-book
If you want to read or listen to the full book, you can find the eBook, audiobook, and paperback on Amazon: amazon.com/dp/1950336204
What are you grateful for today?
"Every once in a while when I’m walking, I like to put out my arms, close my eyes for a brief moment, and focus on the sun and breeze on my skin. It always makes me smile. Being surrounded by all elements of nature makes me feel alive and reminds me how blessed I am. When I’m home, I like to place my hands on my chest so I can feel my heartbeat. I’m so grateful that it’s still beating. I’m so grateful that I hung on and didn’t give up. This simple practice fills me with gratitude and joy."
"When you begin to focus on all the good things in your life, you’ll see all that you have to be grateful for. Practicing gratitude daily has been a game changer for me. I spent many years in my teens and twenties wishing I were dead. Now that I’m on the other side of the devastation, I’m able to find joy all around me."
From my book, Reclaim Your Life After Trauma: The Power of Goal Setting.
It saddens me to think about all the years I spent wishing that I never existed. I thought that death was the only way that my suffering would end. But that proved to be far from the truth. I'm now grateful for every single day that I have on Earth.
In this video, I discuss the importance of goal setting and self-care, just putting one foot in front of the other, and holding onto one more day until you can get enough separation from your pain.
My book, Reclaim Your Life After Trauma: The Power of Goal Setting, is dedicated to how I used goal setting to separate myself from my unchangeable past and I provide the reader with the tools they can use to do the same. Sign up here to begin reading the Introduction and Chapter 1 for free: serotinouslife.com/reclaim-your-life-book
My book, Transformation After Trauma: Embracing Post-Traumatic Growth, is dedicated to the self-care tools I used in my healing journey. Each section includes actionable steps so the reader can try each tool in...
I fell so far after my traumas. It still pains me to think about how I hurt myself and others when I was just trying to figure out how to survive. I know I was just doing the very best I could, but there was a lot of devastation left behind from my self-destruction.
The thing about self-destruction is we don’t only hurt ourselves in the process. In this video I discuss why it’s important to get help after experiencing trauma and to find positive ways to cope so we don’t continue to hurt ourselves and others.
We pass along pain from one generation to the next in our families and within our communities when we refuse to do the work necessary to heal after our trauma. Yes, it sucks that we had to endure the pain we’ve experienced. Yes, it sucks that not a thing can be done to change the fact that we experienced trauma and that those memories will be with us forever. But it doesn’t mean that the rest of our life must suck because we’ve...
Reframing is critical in healing from trauma. As I said in this interview, "If I'm going to live for decades more after my trauma, it's not useful to just think of how it destroyed me. It's not going to allow me to be successful in any aspect of my life. So I have to shift how I look at my experiences so that they don't hold me back."
Everything changed the moment I was able to start focusing on the gifts I've received from my trauma. Instead of focusing on all that I lost from my trauma, I focused on the strength, resiliency, and compassion I've gained, and it's not an overstatement to say that it transformed my life.
It's not useful for me to carry around the idea that my traumas only caused me pain and suffering. When I did, I was depressed, bulimic, promiscuous, and suicidal. But when I started focusing on what I've gained from my trauma, I was able to see a way out of my suffering.
I also said, "This is a very harsh world that we live in and none of us will escape its wrath. We...
When I focused on all that I lost and all that would no longer be because of my trauma, I suffered. I felt like I was stuck and that I would forever suffer because of my trauma. Nothing changed until I changed the meaning behind my suffering, until I changed my story. It’s the only thing I have control of now that my trauma is in the past.
In this video, I talk about reframing, changing our perspective. We cannot change the fact we experienced our trauma, but we can change how we think about our trauma. Even though gaining positive coping mechanisms and setting goals for moving forward were important in my healing journey, I kept slipping back into old patterns whenever thoughts from my painful past reemerged. Everything changed the moment I decided to change how I thought about my trauma.
I discuss how important listening to the stories of people who experienced immense suffering was in helping me break the negative thought patterns I had on repeat in my mind....
The words we use to talk to ourselves matters. That’s why in this video I discuss how destructive it can be when people minimize their pain by comparing their trauma to the experience of others. It can trap them in a cycle of thoughts that prevent them from moving forward.
This is why much of the work I do with my clients involves helping them to rewrite their story. You can change the way you experience life by making minor shifts in the way you tell your story.
I’d be honored to help you rewrite your story. Learn more about my healing journey and how I can help you on yours: serotinouslife.com/coaching-programs