Don’t Allow Your Trauma to Destroy You and Everything You Love

healing from trauma Mar 12, 2022

I fell so far after my traumas. It still pains me to think about how I hurt myself and others when I was just trying to figure out how to survive. I know I was just doing the very best I could, but there was a lot of devastation left behind from my self-destruction. 

The thing about self-destruction is we don’t only hurt ourselves in the process. In this video I discuss why it’s important to get help after experiencing trauma and to find positive ways to cope so we don’t continue to hurt ourselves and others. 

We pass along pain from one generation to the next in our families and within our communities when we refuse to do the work necessary to heal after our trauma. Yes, it sucks that we had to endure the pain we’ve experienced. Yes, it sucks that not a thing can be done to change the fact that we experienced trauma and that those memories will be with us forever. But it doesn’t mean that the rest of our life must suck because we’ve...

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Use Your Trauma as Fuel

Reframing is critical in healing from trauma. As I said in this interview, "If I'm going to live for decades more after my trauma, it's not useful to just think of how it destroyed me. It's not going to allow me to be successful in any aspect of my life. So I have to shift how I look at my experiences so that they don't hold me back."

Everything changed the moment I was able to start focusing on the gifts I've received from my trauma. Instead of focusing on all that I lost from my trauma, I focused on the strength, resiliency, and compassion I've gained, and it's not an overstatement to say that it transformed my life.

It's not useful for me to carry around the idea that my traumas only caused me pain and suffering. When I did, I was depressed, bulimic, promiscuous, and suicidal. But when I started focusing on what I've gained from my trauma, I was able to see a way out of my suffering.

I also said, "This is a very harsh world that we live in and none of us will escape its wrath. We...

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Rewrite Your Story: Change the Meaning of Your Trauma

When I focused on all that I lost and all that would no longer be because of my trauma, I suffered. I felt like I was stuck and that I would forever suffer because of my trauma. Nothing changed until I changed the meaning behind my suffering, until I changed my story. It’s the only thing I have control of now that my trauma is in the past. 

In this video, I talk about reframing, changing our perspective. We cannot change the fact we experienced our trauma, but we can change how we think about our trauma. Even though gaining positive coping mechanisms and setting goals for moving forward were important in my healing journey, I kept slipping back into old patterns whenever thoughts from my painful past reemerged. Everything changed the moment I decided to change how I thought about my trauma. 

I discuss how important listening to the stories of people who experienced immense suffering was in helping me break the negative thought patterns I had on repeat in my mind....

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Don’t Minimize Your Pain

healing from trauma Feb 08, 2022

The words we use to talk to ourselves matters. That’s why in this video I discuss how destructive it can be when people minimize their pain by comparing their trauma to the experience of others. It can trap them in a cycle of thoughts that prevent them from moving forward.

This is why much of the work I do with my clients involves helping them to rewrite their story. You can change the way you experience life by making minor shifts in the way you tell your story. 

I’d be honored to help you rewrite your story. Learn more about my healing journey and how I can help you on yours:

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We Can Change How We Think About Our Trauma

I feel blessed to have been interviewed by Whitney Walker on The Women Waken Podcast. We discussed how important it is to change the meaning behind our story. We cannot change what happened to us but we can change how we think about what happened to us. We can move from a place of feeling stuck and weak when we think about our trauma to a place where we feel empowered and strong enough to move forward. Sometimes it requires just a shift in the language we use to describe our experiences. A major part of the work I do with my clients is to help them rewrite their story so that every time they think about their story they don't get filled with sadness and loss. So they can see that they not only survived, but they are now stronger than ever before.  

I had the opportunity to share that I'm no longer ashamed of all that I did to survive after my traumas. I can now look at the fact that I survived with pride. I am grateful that my harmful coping mechanisms kept me alive just a...

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Learn to Deal With Intrusive Thoughts

healing from trauma Jan 13, 2022

“Will I ever forget my trauma?” is a question I have been asked a lot lately. In this video, I discuss why our brain won’t ever let us forget our trauma and ways that I have handled painful memories when they resurface. Hopefully it will give you ideas on how to handle memories from your past when they intrude into your present life. 

Learn more about my healing journey and how I can help you on yours:

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It Is Possible to Move From Victim to Victor!

The Victim 2 Victor podcast was such a good fit for me. The host, Anu Verma, and I discussed post-traumatic growth and not letting our perpetrators win after they tried so hard to keep us small. Anu is a beautiful, bright light. I felt so connected with Anu. Just like me, she loves to smile and laugh, and refuses to let her victimizers steal one more day of joy from her. Some people believe that it was just a fluke that I was able to thrive after my traumas. Anu is just one of the many examples of people like me that have truly embraced post traumatic growth. 

We also discussed the healing properties of nature. I was glad that we also had the opportunity to discuss why it may take years for us to even acknowledge our trauma and why the healing timeline looks different for everyone.

I think the episode came out great and you’ll find value in listening! 

You can also find it on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Audible, and other major podcast platforms. The title of our...

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The Importance of Healing Your Inner Child

podcast Dec 23, 2021

I was so honored to be interviewed on the EQaboveIQ podcast by host, Trina Casey. This podcast focuses on parenting with emotional intelligence and healing your inner child. I feel connected with the mission of this podcast because my long trauma history began as a child. I am also a strong advocate of adults doing the hard work of healing their wounded inner child so they don’t perpetuate cycles of trauma that can spread from generation to generation and throughout communities. 

I loved that we talked about the importance of not shielding children from the terrible things that can happen in this world, like sexual violence. We need to give our children the space to talk about the pain in this world, so they don’t feel that they have to keep secrets if something bad happens to them. It also gives the child the opportunity to learn ways to cope with difficult life circumstances, like divorce and bullying, if we give them the opportunity to not only talk about their...

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Listen to a Review of My Book, Transformation After Trauma

podcast Dec 23, 2021

I was so touched by the kind words Ibrahim Sulieman, host of the Human Habits podcast, had to share about my book, Transformation After Trauma: Embracing Post-Traumatic Growth!

It was so interesting for me to listen to a podcast episode about my book, without me being in it. It was sort of surreal.

Through his podcast, Ibrahim shares about the relationship between our habits and our ability to experience happiness, overall wellbeing, and personal transformation.

The second chapter of my book is dedicated to the habits we may acquire to cope after experiencing trauma. The remaining chapters focus on ideas for new habits you can use to replace the ones that no longer serve you.

You can also listen to this episode and other great episodes on Apple Podcasts, Audible, Google Podcasts, and other major podcast platforms. The title of the episode is, "E53-Book-Transformation After Trauma."

Sign up to begin reading the Introduction and Chapter 1 of my book, Transformation After...

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How to Deal With the Pain on the Anniversary Date of a Traumatic Event

Uncategorized Nov 29, 2021

In this video, I discuss how I have handled anniversary dates of traumatic events so that I am not crushed each year when that anniversary date rolls around. I also discuss the importance of having tools in place to deal with overwhelm if you are triggered to remember painful memories on the anniversary date or at any point in time.

I cover the self-care tools that were most helpful to me in my healing journey in my book, Transformation After Trauma: Embracing Post-Traumatic Growth. Sign up to begin reading the Introduction and Chapter 1 of my book for free:

If you would like to read or listen to the full book, you can find the eBook, audiobook, and paperback on Amazon.

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