Humans are the only creatures on Earth that will do less than they're capable of doing. Organisms like trees don't have a brain, so they operate based on directions from their genes and surroundings. Most animals don't have a brain large enough to allow them to do anything other than operate on instinct. But humans on the other hand, with our large and beautifully complex brains, can override our natural instincts by the stories we tell ourselves.
In this video, I discuss our potential for resilience. We have two choices when we experience trauma, to curl up in a ball and wait for death or to figure out a way to move forward with the life we still have. The difficulty that some people have is that their negative self-talk and limiting beliefs cause them to think that they don't have options and their suffering will only end in death.
I hope this video will cause you to reflect on how your negative self-talk and limiting beliefs may be hindering you. I also hope it causes you to...
The process of setting goals and taking action toward those goals requires vulnerability, patience, persistence, and determination. Life will always throw obstacles in your path, that's just the kind of world we live in.
In this video, I discuss how the recent bushwhack (hiking without a trail) I did provided me with a lot of good reminders and opportunities for reflection on the obstacles I'm going to continue to face on the way to reaching my goals. It also provided me a reminder of the feelings I'm going to face on the way to reaching my goals like vulnerability, fear, and that I'm all alone on my journey.
I'm hopeful this video will give you something to think about when you reach an obstacle. Will you turn back, stay where you are, or will you find a way to maneuver around the obstacle?
If you have a goal you want to reach, but you're having difficulty in reaching it, I'd love to help you devise a plan to overcome your greatest obstacle in a 2-hour strategy session: ...
Whenever you say, "Yes" to one thing, you're automatically saying "No" to another. When I decided to say "Yes" to growing my business so I could pursue it full-time, I had to decide what I was going to say "No" to in order to make it work. I decided to say "No" to hiking, at least as much as I had been, even though it is something I enjoy.
In this video, I discuss how sacrifices must be made for any type of goal you're looking to achieve; whether that goal is to leave your house, go back to school, or start a new relationship. Prioritization is important. Hiking is important to me, but it's not essential for me to reach the ultimate vision I have for my life and my legacy.
I'm hopeful this video will cause you to reflect on what you'll need to say "No" to so you can say "Yes" to the life you desire and deserve.
If you want additional tools for reaching your goal, I encourage you to read or listen to my book, Reclaim Your Life After Trauma: The Power of Goal Setting. Whether your goal...
I've always been criticized for being a dreamer, an idealist, and too big for my britches. Between these relentless criticisms and sexual violations throughout my life by multiple people it's been hard to stay gritty and foster the fighter in me so I can keep going.
In this video, I discuss how I've begun dating again after being single for the past two years. Dating has caused me to reflect on what's important to me in a life partner, and really any significant relationship in my life. One thing I've determined is that it's essential to find a partner who's supportive of my goals and has goals of his own. I'm very ambitious and it's important for me to also be with someone who's ambitious, even if it's in different ways than I am. It's difficult for someone to understand others who have passion and drive to pursue a goal when they don't have passion and drive themselves.
I also discuss how problematic the need for external validation can be, especially when you're looking to get it...
I was recently cleaning my windows and I was shocked to see the difference between the two in front of my kitchen sink when I was done cleaning the first one (image shown in the video below). It was amazing the clarity, detail, and beauty I could see through the now clear glass. It has made me reflect on all the times the ways I was looking at myself, another person, a situation, or my past may have been clouded and I didn't realize there was residue altering my ability to see the situation or person clearly. It has caused me to reflect on how my life has changed every time I've shifted my perspective or how I've remained stuck when I refused to change my perspective.
In this video, I discuss the relationship between these windows, reframing (shifting perspective), and trauma healing. I also read a section of my book, Reclaim Your Life After Trauma, where I discuss reframing and how it allows us to look at ourselves and circumstances through a different set of glasses.
As I often tell my clients, "Trauma doesn't disappear when you ignore it." Of course they don't want to hear this. I can always tell they know it's true, but they don't want to give up the hope that ignoring their pain will make it disappear.
We all do this; we just have different ways of pushing our pain aside. Some of us overwork, overexercise, overeat, overconsume TV or social media, indulge in idle chit-chat and gossip, use drugs, drink alcohol, or smoke cigarettes and sometimes we engage in multiple forms of distractions and numbing to push our pain aside. But it never works. We may get relief for a moment, but our pain is always there to tap us on our shoulder and remind us that it hasn't gone anywhere. So, we continue to try to push it away, often to the point when multiple aspects of our life begin to suffer (e.g., health, finances, career, relationships).
It's understandable why we avoid our pain. As the name implies, it hurts. However, moving beyond our pain requires moving...
Recently I've been reflecting on something Denzel Washington says: “Ease is a greater threat to progress than hardship.” I didn't realize the truth in that statement until recently.
In this video, I discuss some difficulties I've been facing with my full-time job and regrets I have about not working harder on my exit plan before I became trapped by golden handcuffs. I'm hopeful that by listening to my story you'll be encouraged to reflect on the progress you're making, or the lack thereof, in the areas of your life you're wanting to change.
Just like I've created plans in the past to escape suffering and I'm creating a plan now to escape the unbearable situation I'm currently in, I would love to also help you create a plan to make a change in your life. Learn more about how I can help you in a 2-hour strategy session: serotinouslife.com/strategy-session
With how broken I used to feel, I was honored to share how I began to think unbroken on the Think Unbroken podcast.
Experiencing trauma is hard enough but trying to figure out how to move past your trauma can seem like an impossible task. It's why many people want to give up because they feel like their suffering will only end in death.
The host, Michael Unbroken, and I discussed how important it is to leverage the small wins you have along the way so you can build momentum. As you continue to progress and experience small wins it'll build your confidence and the belief that you can move through and beyond your pain.
You can find our episode on Apple Podcasts, Audible, Spotify, and other major podcast platforms. The title of our episode is, "E374: Stephanie M. Hutchins, Ph.D. - The power of nature in healing trauma | Trauma Healing Coach."
I'd love to help you take back control of your life! Learn more: serotinouslife.com/coaching-programs
Setting boundaries is the ultimate form of self-care. There is no greater way to show yourself love and respect than by saying, "I will not tolerate being hurt in this way."
In this video, I discuss my recent experiences with setting boundaries with two people in my life and what I learned. I hope it will encourage you to also decide where you'll draw a line in the sand and say, "No more!"
If you have boundaries you'd like to set, but you don't know where to begin or you're scared to set boundaries, I'd love to help you devise a plan to draw a line in the sand in a 2-hour strategy session: serotinouslife.com/strategy-session
I'm developing another course on trauma recovery. The section I've been working on is about replacing negative coping strategies. This clip is from the video pertaining to that topic in the course. I'm hopeful that this video will help you feel more empathy and compassion toward yourself for the ways you've tried to survive in the aftermath of your trauma.
It's obvious from this video that I don't appreciate the times that I've been judged harshly by others for the ways I've tried to survive. If you've also been judged harshly, please try not to turn on yourself. When we are berated by others it's easy to internalize that language and start using harsh words to condemn ourselves.
Yes, it's important to find ways to stop harming ourselves. But it isn't as simple as using logical reasoning to stop. I knew that having sex with random strangers, binging and purging 8 to 12 times per day, and drinking until I blacked out was bad for me. I didn't need anyone to tell me that....