Reframing is critical in healing from trauma. As I said in this interview, "If I'm going to live for decades more after my trauma, it's not useful to just think of how it destroyed me. It's not going to allow me to be successful in any aspect of my life. So I have to shift how I look at my experiences so that they don't hold me back."
Everything changed the moment I was able to start focusing on the gifts I've received from my trauma. Instead of focusing on all that I lost from my trauma, I focused on the strength, resiliency, and compassion I've gained, and it's not an overstatement to say that it transformed my life.
It's not useful for me to carry around the idea that my traumas only caused me pain and suffering. When I did, I was depressed, bulimic, promiscuous, and suicidal. But when I started focusing on what I've gained from my trauma, I was able to see a way out of my suffering.
I also said, "This is a very harsh world that we live in and none of us will escape its wrath. We are not going to leave this Earth untouched from trauma." So if we hold onto the belief that we're forever marked, that we're forever going to suffer because of our trauma, then that means that we could spend decades of our life suffering. My traumas began at 9 years old. What if I live to be 90 years old? That means I would spend eight decades of my life suffering. I refuse to believe that something that happened to me at one point in my life has to dictate that the rest of my life will include suffering.
Below you can watch my interview with Myrna Young on the Transform Your Mind Podcast on YouTube.
You can also find it on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Audible, and other major podcast platforms. The title of our episode is, "Using Trauma As Your Fuel for Post Traumatic Growth."
I discuss in detail the tools that were important to me in my healing journey in my book, Transformation After Trauma: Embracing Post-Traumatic Growth. You can sign up to begin reading the Introduction and Chapter 1 of my book for free here: serotinouslife.com/transformation-after-trauma-book
If you would like to read or listen to the full book, you can find the eBook, audiobook, and paperback on Amazon.