This is me at 8 years old. By this time I had some inkling that life could be hard. My mom and dad eventually divorced after years of fighting. But, this left my mother alone, struggling to take care of three little girls.
I was constantly ridiculed in school for how I looked and for being stupid. I did poorly in classes, and was almost held back. Thankfully, it was discovered that the reason I wasn't doing well was because I couldn't hear my teachers. That discovery helped improve one aspect of my life, but it was little consolation when I realized what additional pain was in store for me.
Between the ages of 9 and 19, I was sexually violated by 8 men. That doesn't include the time that I was attacked from behind at knifepoint because I was able to get the knife away from my perpetrator and run away to safety. It also doesn't include the many men that groped me, spouted disgusting comments, and tried to kiss me without my permission.
Violation after violation left me with a deep sense of self-loathing and disgust. I developed an eating disorder in my early teens. It started out with me exercising for hours on end and it eventually led to me vomiting up my food when I didn't feel the exercise would burn off the food quick enough.
The picture to the left is of me at 18 years old when my eating disorder was at its worst. I weighed 118 pounds and was binging and purging 8-12 times per day.
And there was still more pain in store for me...
After years of being made to feel that the only purpose of my existence was to please men, at 24 years old, I finally found a man that made me feel like I was deserving of love and respect. He provided me with a glimmer of hope. But that hope disappeared the morning I walked in to find him dead.
My life began to spiral out of control at that point. I started to sleep with one man after another trying replicate what I had lost. I tried pushing away my sadness with food. I reached 222 pounds and had high cholesterol and sleep apnea before the age of 30. I couldn't work for a period of time from my deep depression, which resulted in stacks of unpaid bills and constant calls from debt collectors. I contemplated suicide on a daily basis because I just thought that life would not get any better.
But it did!
This is me in 2021, at 39 years old, holding my book, Transformation After Trauma: Embracing Post-Traumatic Growth. I'm standing in my freedom pose. This pose symbolizes the freedom and sense of victory I feel over breaking free from my traumas.
I have emerged from my darkest days into a life that is barely recognizable. I now have many loving relationships, I completed my doctorate degree, I was a college professor, I've traveled around the world, and I use what I've learned on my healing journey to help others on theirs.
I've developed coaching programs to help you design your life based on your terms. The programs will arm you with the tools I used to break free from my traumas, so I could live the life that my victimizers never wanted me to have.
You are deserving and worthy of a life that doesn't revolve around something that someone else did to you or circumstances that were out of your control.
I've taken everything I've learned from my years of healing, my years of studying and teaching about the human body and mind, and my years of studying human potential to create programs that allow my clients to move forward after experiencing trauma.
As a life coach, my job is to challenge you and push you farther than you would push yourself, to encourage you to grow and experience change, and ultimately the transformation you're looking for. Transformation cannot occur without growth, without change, and without becoming someone you never were before.
I would be honored to partner with you on your own healing journey.
The ultimate mission of my business, Serotinous Life, is to help my clients experience post-traumatic growth. To help them not only heal, but thrive after trauma. Not in spite of the trauma, but because of it. I know in the early stages of your healing, the idea of being able to thrive after trauma may seem absolutely absurd. But it is possible. I've experienced it in my own life.
If you're ready to consider that post-traumatic growth is possible for you, I encourage you to review my Transformation After Trauma course by clicking the button below.
If you're not there yet, that's completely okay! I encourage you to check out my online course, Tools for Moving Forward After Trauma.
This course is for those individuals who have experienced trauma, are surviving, but they feel stuck and are tired of the rut they’re in. They are so fed up that they must change. They cannot handle one more day of the same old story they’ve been cycling through day in and day out.
This course will provide you with tools you can begin using immediately to break out of the invisible cage your trauma has you trapped in. You will also learn how these tools can be used to help you deal with any difficult situation in your life. The work you’ll do in this course will not only help move forward after your trauma, it’ll provide you with tools that will help you to quickly move forward after any setback in life.
Click on the button below to learn more about the course.
Do you have an obstacle you want to overcome, but don’t know where to begin? If so, the 2-hour strategy session will allow you to devise a plan of action to start tackling the biggest hurdle you’re having difficulty navigating around.
I tried to navigate most of my traumas and subsequent successes on my own, but I couldn’t do it all alone. Humans are deeply social creatures, so even though being hurt by others may cause us to retreat inward and push others away, we will never be completely successful in making it through life without the assistance of others. It is empowering to go it alone and exciting when we succeed, but sometimes we will need help with things like getting over specific hurdles or getting back on track when knocked off course.
Click on the button below to learn more about the 2-hour strategy session.
During a free discovery call, we will discuss your needs and I will create a personalized coaching program based on your specific needs. So you have an idea of pricing, I charge $200 for a 60-minute coaching call. This fee includes assignments that I will give you based on our conversation and feedback on completed worksheets.
Most clients average meeting with me once every two weeks. The length of your program will depend on where you are at in your healing journey and your goals for moving forward. However, coaching is not meant to be a permanent relationship. My job is to arm you with the tools to cope with life's challenges and the tools you need to reach your goals so you can tackle any challenge or goal on your own in the future. My job is also to hold you accountable for commitments you've made to yourself until you're able to hold yourself accountable and push yourself without someone else pushing you.
Schedule your free discovery call with me by clicking on the button below.
Let's walk together on your journey forward, so you can emerge from your trauma stronger than you were before. I know you didn't ask to be stronger, but I will show you the benefits of embracing the pain and using it for fuel to move into a life that is within YOUR control.
"Stephanie is an incredibly talented teacher, adventurer, and person. Despite facing extreme obstacles, she is absolutely bursting with life and never backs down from pursuing her dreams. She is a good listener and is very willing to adapt to the needs of her clients. She also possesses a stubbornness and determination to never let her clients give up or take shortcuts. When I first met Stephanie, I was recently married and struggling to maintain a balance between life as a newlywed, part time work at a golf course, and being a full-time college student. Stephanie helped me through that time and encouraged me to continue pursuing my goal of being an occupational therapist. She reminded me of the value that I have as a person and the unique skills and abilities that I possess. By working with her I became more confident and learned to find a balance between all the activities I was trying to juggle. I am very grateful for Stephanie and the help she gave me during that difficult point in my life."
I am not a therapist. Therapists treat diagnosed conditions. They focus on your past to explain why you have your present thoughts, behaviors, and habits. You could be in therapy for years or a lifetime. If your trauma is recent, or you're still having difficulty functioning in your daily life, therapy would be best for you. Therapy can be helpful in getting individuals back to a baseline level of good health.
I am a life coach. Life coaches do not diagnose and do not treat specific conditions. Life coaches spend little time going back into your past. Instead, they focus on getting you from where you are now to where you want to be. Life coaches set their clients up with the skills they need to eventually reach all their goals on their own. That's why coaching is not meant to be a permanent relationship.
If you're at a baseline level of good health and you need help getting unstuck so you can reach the bigger goals you have in life, then you would be a good candidate for life coaching.
Although this program focuses on helping people who have experienced trauma, this program is meant for those individuals who are functioning in their daily life but can see how the effects of their trauma still linger in their present life. My programs are about empowering my clients with the skills they need to move forward from their unchangeable past.
If you're unsure whether you should be working with a therapist, life coach, or both, please email me or schedule a free discovery call to discuss what would be best for you.
Coaching sessions will be held on Zoom. I will ask that you have your camera on. I find it is easier to feel connected when we can see one another. The improved relationship strengthens the impact of the coaching session.
It is your responsibility to notify me at least 24 hours in advance of the scheduled meeting if you cannot make the session. If the session is cancelled less than 24 hours before the scheduled start of your call, no refund or rescheduling of the appointment will be available to you.
My typical fee is $200/hour. If you cancel at the last minute, I will lose the ability to make $200 during the time frame we were scheduled for.