I've always been criticized for being a dreamer, an idealist, and too big for my britches. Between these relentless criticisms and sexual violations throughout my life by multiple people it's been hard to stay gritty and foster the fighter in me so I can keep going.
In this video, I discuss how I've begun dating again after being single for the past two years. Dating has caused me to reflect on what's important to me in a life partner, and really any significant relationship in my life. One thing I've determined is that it's essential to find a partner who's supportive of my goals and has goals of his own. I'm very ambitious and it's important for me to also be with someone who's ambitious, even if it's in different ways than I am. It's difficult for someone to understand others who have passion and drive to pursue a goal when they don't have passion and drive themselves.
I also discuss how problematic the need for external validation can be, especially when you're looking to get it from people who don't want to or aren't able to give it to you. I also discuss the importance of evaluating what's driving your need for external validation. This way you can fulfill your own needs and not be so let down and dragged off course by people who can't fill the hole inside of you. As I say in the video, "I can't expect the world to love me more than I love myself. I can't expect that the world is going to show me love to make up for the love I don't feel for myself."
I hope this video causes you to reflect on old wounds that may need tending to and ways you can prevent them from causing you to fall back into old patterns.
If you're in need of tools to bandage and heal the wounds from your trauma that can be easily reopened, I encourage you to read or listen to my book, Transformation After Trauma: Embracing Post-Traumatic Growth, where I detail the tools I used in my healing journey. Sign up here to begin reading the Introduction and Chapter 1 for free: serotinouslife.com/transformation-after-trauma-book
If you want to read or listen to the full book, you can find the ebook, audiobook, and paperback on Amazon: amazon.com/dp/1950336204