Have you ever said or thought any I am or I am not statements?
I am a procrastinator.
I am fat, ugly, stupid, etc.
I am too young, old, shy, scared, etc.
I am not thin, pretty, smart, creative, outgoing, patient, etc.
I am not a number, business, etc. person.
I am not tech savvy.
Have you ever said or thought any I can’t statements?
I can’t do anything right.
I can’t relax, sing, run, etc.
Have you ever said or thought any I don’t statements?
I don’t have time.
I don’t know enough.
I don’t know what I want.
I don’t deserve happiness, love, etc.
I don’t have enough experience, money, support, connections, etc.
Have you ever said or thought any I must statements?
I must not be good enough.
I must do well on this exam.
I must clean the house today.
If you said to yes to any of the above, I have good news and bad news for you. The bad news is that you have self-limiting beliefs and that they could be affecting your life in many ways, without you even being consciously aware of it. They are called limiting beliefs for a reason because they limit you in some way. Although in the examples listed above, I focused on limiting beliefs you may have about yourself, you may have limiting beliefs about others and the world around you (Fallon, 2015). No matter what the limiting beliefs apply to, they are likely holding you back in some way. “These beliefs may hold you back from taking chances, keep you blind to opportunities in your path, prevent you from accepting gifts offered to you, or simply keep you stuck focusing on the negative aspect of your circumstances” (Fallon, 2015). They may cause you to procrastinate, leave you unable to speak your mind or stand up for yourself, cause you to have a fear of doing something new, or make you feel lost and unable to discover what you want in life.
The good news is that you are able to replace those limiting beliefs with new beliefs that better serve you. This is the work that I do with my clients in my life coaching practice. Most people don’t realize they have self-limiting beliefs. So, we start with identifying what problems they are wanting to fix in their lives or goals they want to achieve. During the process of exploring these problems or goals, we usually find one or more limiting beliefs that are making it difficult for them to fix their problem or slowing them down on their road to achieving their goals. I then use different neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) techniques and hypnosis to assist my clients in replacing those limiting beliefs with ones that better serve them.
Most of our limiting beliefs were formed during childhood. It is very likely they benefited us at some point in our lives, which is why our subconscious mind has chosen to hold on to them. But, as we move through different stages of our lives, those beliefs might actually start to hold us back. It is very empowering to know that it is possible for us to break free from the chains of yesterday.
I discuss the tools I used to start breaking the chains from my trauma in my book, Transformation After Trauma: Embracing Post-Traumatic Growth, and how you can use the tools in your own life. Sign up here to begin reading the Introduction and Chapter 1 for free!
Fallon, A. (2015). What are limiting beliefs and are they holding you back? https://allisonfallon.com/limiting-beliefs/