Your Trauma Did NOT Destroy You!

The picture to the left is of me at 18 years old when my eating disorder was at its worst. I weighed 118 pounds and was binging and purging 8-12 times per day. Multiple sexual violations by this time left me with a deep sense of self-loathing and disgust.

After years of being made to feel that the only purpose for my existence was to please men, at 24 years old, I finally found a man who made me feel like I was deserving of love and respect. He provided me with a glimmer of hope. But that hope disappeared the morning I found him dead.

After that, my life began to spiral out of control. I tried pushing away my sadness with food. I reached 222 pounds (middle picture) and had high cholesterol and sleep apnea before the age of 30. I couldn't work for a while because of my deep depression, which resulted in stacks of unpaid bills and constant calls from debt collectors. I contemplated suicide daily because I thought that life would not get any better. But it did!

The last picture is of me in 2021, at 39 years old, standing in my freedom pose. This pose symbolizes the freedom and sense of victory I feel over breaking free from my traumas.

I've emerged from my darkest days into a life that is barely recognizable. I now have many loving relationships, I completed my doctorate degree, I'm a college professor, I've traveled around the world, and I use what I've learned on my healing journey to help others on theirs.

Post-traumatic growth is possible!

It’s easy to think that we’ll never be able to pick up our broken pieces after we experience trauma. Yes, the process of doing so will be long and difficult, and our pieces will never fit back together in the same way they did before, but that’s why I liken trauma healing to kintsugi, the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with a precious metal. When the broken pieces are bound back together with gold, silver, or platinum, the pottery often looks more beautiful than it did before it was broken. The same can be true for us.

Even though we may not be able to go back to being the person we were before, we can become an even better version of ourselves. Our traumas may cause us to rethink our lives and shift in a different direction. Shifting requires a different version of ourselves, a transformation. I titled my first book Transformation After Trauma because that's what I've found is truly possible after trauma — a transformation. After experiencing trauma, we can become someone we never were before. We can create a life for ourselves that is even better than the one we had or had envisioned for ourselves before our trauma. I no longer want to go back to any version of my past life, because my life gets better every year. This only could have happened by me letting go of the person I was. The process wasn’t easy, but the time, energy, and heartache along the way were worth it. Please try to hold on to the belief that the same will be true for you.

Meet your partner on this journey: 

Stephanie M. Hutchins, PhD, author of Transformation After Trauma, Reclaim Your Life After Trauma, and Moving Forward, helps individuals overcome trauma and cope with stress. She is a certified life coach, stress management coach, advanced wellness coach, neuro-linguistic programming practitioner, and yoga instructor. She also owns Serotinous Life, a company that helps individuals harness the power of post-traumatic growth.

Dr. Hutchins has taught about the human body as a college professor for 13 years. She is fascinated by the capabilities of the mind and body and guides others in harnessing the power of their minds and bodies to overcome tremendous hardships brought on by the inevitable stresses of life. Dr. Hutchins combines yoga principles, her knowledge of the human body, and her healing journey to empower others with tools to fuel massive personal and professional growth.